Category: Expectations
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“Happy-when” people
Shane Parrish writes in Clear Thinking: Running on the hedonic treadmill only turns us into what I call “happy-when” people—those who think they’ll be happy when something happens. For example, we’ll be happy when we get the credit we deserve, or happy when we make a bit more money, or happy when we find that…
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Stand up
Steve Jobs discusses hiring people, in an interview for In the Company of Giants (via the Steve Jobs archive): Over time, my digging in during an interview gets more precise. For example, many times in an interview I will purposely upset someone: I’ll criticize their prior work. I’ll do my homework, find out what they…
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Make a map of memories
Kai Brach writes in the 267th issue of Dense Discovery: When I receive a kind, heartfelt email from a reader, I add it to a folder titled ‘Confidence Boost’. So whenever self-doubt strikes or I’m in a creative rut I consult that folder to be reminded of what really matters: connection. A memory pays dividends…
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Dealing with failure
What do you do when you’re helming a blossoming ad agency and you lose an account that’s half your billings and three-quarters of your income? You keep advertising. Chiat/Day partner and co-founder Guy Day wrote this one. His son Cameron Day writes, “It was uncharacteristic of my father to revert to low-brow language. That was…
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Ambiguity, fear, and possibility
In Platonic, Marisa G. Franco PhD writes: Much of friendship is defined by ambiguity; it’s rare that people straight up tell us whether they like us or not. Thus, our projections end up playing a greater role in our understanding of how others feel about us than how others actually feel. Our attachment determines how…
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The alchemy of scarcity
A good chef can make a feast out of scarce ingredients. A good athlete can make a performance out of sparse energy and health. A good artist can make art out of scarce material and time. None of them would prefer to, of course. But they can if they must.
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Choose the action, choose the consequence
“When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. When you desire a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it.” Lois McMaster Bujold, Memory
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Sweet lemons
I recently took a week off work. The first day off, my nose started running. I got sick. The rest of the week involved me staying in my home, recovering. There are at least two competing truths here: One truth involves me being upset that I didn’t get to do much I wanted to. Another…
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Five life lessons from playing board games
You can learn a lot about life from playing board games. Here are five lessons I’ve picked up from the past few years: The point is to have fun, not to win. If you want to play competitively, then join a tournament—don’t do that with your friends. The point is to enjoy each other’s company.…
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Hold yourself accountable
In Clear Thinking, Shane Parrish writes: Self-accountability means taking responsibility for your abilities, your inabilities, and your actions. If you can’t do that, you might never move forward. You might not have someone in your life who holds you accountable, but that doesn’t matter. You can hold yourself accountable. Others might not expect more from…