I used to think the opposite. While I grew up with a family that saved a lot of money, I also saw that we procrastinated on buying things we needed. We didn’t do a lot of travel or experiences. Both of my parents’ very normal cars are over 10 years old—one is approaching 20.

Later in my life, I saw a roommate fretting over spreadsheets and spending extremely frugally—like ordering pizza or cooking instead of eating at a nice restaurant. None of that sounded or looked like freedom to me. Earning more seemed more like freedom.

While I had always lived within my means and saved money, thanks to soaking in my family’s frugal habits, I hadn’t saved as much as I needed for some of my future possibilities. This became very clear a couple of years ago: I needed to start saving a lot more money. It felt like two forces inside me were competing—one was fighting for saving money, and the other was fighting for freedom.

Either way, saving money wasn’t an option any more. I could either choose to do it happily, or drag my feet and hate my life. So I was not only on the market to get more financially savvy, I was also seeking a new story that wouldn’t conflict with my need for freedom. 

Morgan Housel changed the story for me. The most important thing I read his essay, “Let Me Convince You To Save Money,” where he told me a new story: 

Spending past a pretty low level of materialism is mostly a reflection of ego approaching income, a way to spend money to show people that you have (or had) money. Think of it this way, and one of the most powerful ways to increase your savings isn’t to raise your income, but your humility.

That sounded right to me. I thought I was chasing freedom. It turns out that my ego—wounded from years of seeing friends buy nicer clothes, drive nicer cars, travel more—was seeking satiation. Morgan continues:

Savings gives you options and flexibility, the ability to wait and the opportunity to pounce. It gives you time to think. Every bit of savings is like taking a point in the future that would have been owned by someone else and giving it back to yourself….

Intelligence isn’t necessarily a sustainable advantage in a world that’s as connected and competitive as ours has become. But flexibility is, and I think it always will be. There are lots of smart people, and what used to be considered intelligence is increasingly automated. In a world where hard skills become automated, competitive advantages tilt toward nuanced and soft skills – like communication, empathy, and, perhaps most of all, flexibility. Having more control over your time and options is becoming one of the most valuable currencies in the world.

When I read Morgan’s book The Psychology of Money, where I found that essay in one of the chapters, I also learned about Ronald Read, a janitor and gas station attendant who died a multimillionaire by living extremely frugally. Ronald didn’t need to earn more to have the freedom to donate millions of dollars to the organizations of his choice.

It was shocking how quickly my attitude on saving money changed after I read Morgan’s book. There are a lot more stories in there about saving money, such as his essay margin of safety, that also turned my brain around.

In Zen Buddhism, there is a concept of “turning words,” which Oliver Burkeman describes as “phrases that seem to possess a mysterious power to cause liberating change, all by themselves. It’s not merely that they convey useful information, or give instructions about what to do. Instead, it’s as if the phrase, landing in the brain, is somehow itself transformative.”

Morgan’s book was more like a “turning story”—a combination of words that persuaded my unconscious mind to make the change my conscious mind already wanted to make.