Coming to terms with reality, and working with it—not against it, or distorting it—is generally good advice. It’ll help you get to where you want to go. Here are three ways to discern between what’s real and what you are imagining (or desiring, stressing over, or overthinking):

“Reality doesn’t need you to help operate it.” — Oliver Burkeman, paraphrasing Michael Singer

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” — Philip K. Dick, How To Build A Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later

“When you wake up to reality, life becomes effortless, because there’s no fear left in you. Your mind can’t project a future. You don’t have to know what to do; you just do it. You realize that you’re not the doer, that the creative mind, the wisdom of the universe, is what’s running the show. God is another name for the nameless: reality, the kind, the loving, the immovable.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is