Imagine going up a roller coaster. The butterflies in your stomach are fluttering. There’s no turning back, you’re buckled into the seat. Without you realizing it, your breathing has grown shallow. Excitement, anxiety, and fear, all mixed up into one. The feeling crescendos as your seat gets higher and higher up into the air. All you can do is stay with it.

While you may not be on a roller coaster every day, there are other situations that will prompt a similar emotional response (perhaps not to the same degree). You may be invited to do a big presentation at work, meet a new group of friends, go to the gym, try a new class, or have someone cut in front of you in line. 

And you’ll need to stay with it, because that’s the only way you’ll start to gain a clearer understanding, and a sense of what’s really possible.

The capacity for coaxing yourself into doing something difficult, and staying with ensuing uncomfortable, painful, and even overwhelming experiences is a skill.

A famous theater chain in Canada has a slogan that says, “Escape with us.” The occasional break is nice. When you need to stay with it, you need to do the opposite. It means not self medicating, not procrastinating, and not trying to escape—because there is no escape.

Therapy helps you stay with it. Pausing and breathing. Walking with it. 

All roller coasters inevitably drop. When they do, they end within a couple of minutes. It helps to keep this consolation in mind. When your emotions feel overwhelming on the way up, you can become mindful of your breathing and close your eyes. Once you feel ready again, you might even find yourself glancing into the horizon and noticing how beautiful the scenery is.