Seeing the expectations you picked up

Expectations work like gravitational pressure. It feels similar to mimetic desire (perhaps the two are related!), like there’s no way to escape what’s being expected of you. 

The forces of these expectations have very real consequences. For example, if your teachers expected you to learn well and get high grades, they’d behave in ways that led you to learn more and excel in class.

The weight of expectations can also crush people. For example, some men grow up being expected to provide, and attempt to commit suicide when they’re not able to

It’s always worth being mindful of the expectations you’re putting on others and how you’re influencing their behavior, as well as the expectations you and others put on you, and whether or not you can realistically meet them.

Communicating this is the key to shifting the energy and change of expectations. You can work together to develop plans to achieve the goals you set together, and create new expectations that move you in the direction where you all want to go.

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