You might’ve been born and bred to win. As a kid, you might’ve won awards, made the most friends, or been recognized as an excellent athlete. 

Many of us grow up like this, children of parents who were taught to do the same. We mostly learn to do this as individuals. 

In situations like this, even if you’re on a team, your subconscious mind will strive to make the greatest contribution in a group project. Or, it’ll keep track of what your teammates are doing, making sure that nobody is slacking off (and ripping everybody else’s time off).

You’d still experience loss and failure along the way, only seeing it as a necessary virtue to win. You may even choose to reframe your losses as wins.

If this sounds familiar, maybe you need to learn to lose. Like, actually lose.

Put the future out of your mind, and stop thinking of the best plan. Deliberately choose to loosen up, enjoy the process, and surrender control.

Make sure the best project goes to the person who’s actually best suited for it, especially if it’s not you. That’s easier said than done, because you’ll need to accept that it’s not you, and that there’s something you can learn, because your teammate’s skillset is better than yours. 

Take on the projects that you’re good at or experience a natural inclination towards, even if you’re uncertain of where it’ll lead you.

Listen to your leader and let them teach you. 

Be patient and be okay with doing things that don’t seem like winning in the near-term, in order to fulfill a longer term vision.

Lose your self—your ego—into the group, because you’re a part of a team now.