Living the contradictions

Uncertainty is very difficult to live with—borderline painful. I used to think it was best to make a decision and move on, as soon as possible. Don’t look back, either. Flip–flopping was not acceptable.

In her book Working Identity, professor Herminia Ibarra explores career transitions. She explains that rushing into a premature decision—to either stay, or to go—ends up taking even longer than waiting. 

“Allow yourself a transition period in which it is OK to oscillate between holding on and letting go,” she writes. “Better to live the contradictions than to come to a premature resolution.” 

In other words, she’s advising, be okay with the contradictions that a significant change requires. If one day, you’re feeling like you’re making a mistake, and the next, you’re feeling like you need to move faster towards the change, that’s all a part of the process. 

You aren’t just “making a career change,” you are also sensing your shift in values, letting go of your past identities and the person you wanted to be, and trying new options and finding new identities.

You and your contradictions won’t be left alone, either. As you reach out to your network, people will try to find opportunities to help you. Herminia particularly cautions watching out for impulsive, unsolicited, time-sensitive offers. You need the time and space to think. A well-paid, simple, offer can take up too much time—and only for you to realize you made the wrong decision.

“Whether it takes weeks, months, or years, living the contradictions is one of the toughest tasks of transition,” she writes. There’s a fine line here between living the contradictions, and remaining indecisive or avoidant. In her book, Herminia advises trialing new activities, relationships, and narratives. 

She also makes suggestions in order to help you afford the time to make the transition: take on temporary work, explore the “wrong choice” so you can see what your unconscious tells you, and talk it out with someone who knows you well.

Pivots are simple, but people are not. You are a person.

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