Early in my life, I learned the motto, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” The implied lesson is to be careful around somebody offering you something for free—because there’s usually a hidden cost. They must have something to gain from it, and that’s why they’re giving it to you for free.

While that motto has been useful in most cases, it’s also not entirely true. I had a free meal when the machine at a restaurant glitched. The business’s policy was generous enough to give me the meal, and the waiter didn’t make me pay cash. I shared my luck with the waiter and tipped him half of the meal’s cost.

Something similar happened when I went to buy a cookie near the shop’s closing time. The staff member asked me which cookies I had in mind, and he gathered several of them from the tray and put them in a box. I prepared to pay and he declined. I shared my luck again—I tipped him the price of the cookie I would have bought.

Last thing—I bought a coffee at a restaurant, and asked for the cheque. I waited for 10 minutes. The bartender noticed me, and said, “It’s on the house.” I ran off to work, but I noticed how powerful the moment was. I went from feeling mildly annoyed to extremely grateful. 

CRMs and loyalty programs manage retention at scale. But while these small gestures don’t scale, they matter. Generosity is a great foundation for an actual customer relationship, and  eventually building true loyalty. 

I’ll gladly keep buying from these businesses, not because I expect a free lunch but because I feel grateful for the one I already had.