A second nature is a behaviour or thought that’s very deeply ingrained in you. It could take you towards your goals, like calming down when you feel confused or hugging a loved one when they’re hurting. Or, it could take you away from them, like holding a grudge or beating yourself up. It happens almost automatically, without you thinking about it.

My good friend Keane had this phrase tattooed on his ribs. As I understood, it was a reminder to himself of how easy it could be to slip into an instinctive thought or behavior that he grew up with. 

It also was a sign of his commitment that he wanted to do better, to change his second nature and align it with his destination.

It resonates with me as I find myself dealing with my own second nature. I’m in my mid-30s now, and the stories, habits, and instincts that I grew with aren’t as useful as they used to be. In fact, some of them take me further away from my goals. The struggle continues.

I try to be mindful of how to nurture my own second nature; to feed the right wolf. It’s an ongoing effort to work through decades of conditioning. It’s one of the most challenging practices I’ve ever taken on. I’m seeing results, and I’m still far from where I want to be.

Keane passed away eight years ago. Another good friend, Faiz, passed away this week. I miss them both a lot.