This is the latest in a series on theTV show Ted Lasso. Here was the first. Spoiler alert!
One of the best gifts a person can receive is validation. The more underestimated a person is—bullied, treated cruelly, or just not being seen or respected—the greater the hunger for this validation.
Nate’s storyline in Ted Lasso reflects this exactly. Ted’s positive attitude oozes validation, and Nate is one of many recipients of this; Ted is the first person to ask Nate for his name, to even give him the nickname “Nate, the great,” and to take his football insights seriously.
As Ted’s attention turns elsewhere, Nate is slowly drained of this validation and presumably never gets the sessions he doesn’t know he needs (so desperately!) in with Dr. Sharon.
Every character in this show experiences rejection in some way. In this case, Nate feels neglected and ultimately rejected by Ted, so he lashes out by betraying Ted, treating other people awfully, and ultimately switching teams.
Nate drifts off to work with the villainous Rupert Mannion, who is so well-practiced at offering validation in exchange for control. He’ll charm you and make you feel like the most special person in the world, so long as you give him what he wants. The second he no longer controls you, or is interested in what you have to offer, he dispenses of you. (I hope that’s not the case for Nate’s character, though I sense there’ll be some version of this.)
Still, there’s no way to fill the hole of insecurity that is quickly growing larger in Nate’s character, so he continues experiencing anger, confusion, envy, and resentment.
Rejection is an emotion often accompanied by doubt, confusion, and embarrassment (or even humiliation). We can all learn to better cope. I hope Nate’s character does. It’s worth remembering that Nate was bullied mercilessly at what is a very psychologically unsafe workplace.
The show would be less dramatic for it, and thankfully it’s a fictional show. It’s just worth remembering this stuff when we think of a character like Nate.