Rejection calibration

If you don’t think you’ll write up a successful application, you might choose to barely show up. You feel like the odds are against you. Why put the effort in if you’re not going to get what you want, anyway? 

If you think somebody doesn’t like you, you might behave like you don’t like them. This causes them to think you don’t like them, which makes them behave coldly towards you.

Breakthroughs happen when you catch this thought happening and think critically about it. If the odds are against you, what can you do to improve them? Or is there something with higher odds that might be better worth your time? If you think somebody dislikes you, do you have a good reason to think that way? Have they said something disrespectful?

Confusion and ambiguity are inevitable. When you experience this, the best default is usually to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. There was probably no malice, just the usual bumpiness that accompanies chaos.

See the acceptance prophecy and rejection sensitivity.

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