One of my clients was a co-founder of a company that had raised $60 million in funding before they signed on my editorial studio to work with them. We met to discuss the project, and it went well—they liked the strategy and were ready to kick off.
Towards the end of the meeting, he wanted to learn more about my business. As I told him about how it worked, his eyes lit up. My business reminded him of himself and his co-founders. He smiled, “Oh, you’re just like us!”
I was baffled. How so?
His company was valued at over $400 million, and mine wasn’t valued at even 0.1% of that.
His company’s logo was mounted on the skyscraper sign of the building. His company employed hundreds of people, and leased several of the floors. My company didn’t have a building—we were a remote team.
His company served millions of users, while my company had worked with maybe a dozen clients.
I couldn’t see what he saw, and I felt embarrassed and brushed off the comment.
With several more years of clarity, I realize that he and I were incredibly similar. We had both started businesses. We took on risk and created employment opportunities for other people. We took on risk. We made a product and served customers. Many of those customers were happy. How many people can say that? In that meeting—only his co-founders and me.
The entrepreneurial spirit transcends differences in scale, business models, and decor. It mattered to me, but he saw through all of that. I had bought into the stories that told me that my business didn’t matter until I checked off boxes like having my logo on a skyscraper sign or making a 30 under 30 list. But once I realized that, I created the condition for myself to let it go and redefine it.
My old definition made me feel embarrassed. My new definition made me feel proud of myself.
An identity is a word. You get to decide what your identity—a word—means to you, and how you identify with it.
Your story will define your past, present, and future. If you want to control that, you need to tell yourself a useful story and define words for yourself.