When Ryan Leslie lost his million dollar court case in 2013, the government froze his bank accounts. He found this out when his payment for a breakfast sandwich at his local bodega was declined.
In order for him to feel like he could retain control of his finances, he started doing business through a decentralized method—Bitcoin. It looks like a genius move in hindsight, but back then, somebody simply heard about his problems and asked him if he’d heard about Bitcoin. And that happened simply because his problems were happening publicly and he didn’t withdraw from his friends, fans, and the public.
Ryan explains his perspective, “I find a lot of times, when people going through something that’s tough, they want to retract from their friends or fan base, etc., not realizing that the default human impulse is to be helpful.” And if that’s the case—why wouldn’t you want to be more open about your problems? It sounds a bit like pronoia—that the world is in your favor, and people are conspiring to help you (not to hurt you).
Not everyone has Ryan’s capacity for publicly sharing his life, including his problems. (The media was not kind to him.) The key is to open up just a little bit further than your comfort zone feels. You also don’t want to only talk about your problems—you want to share what you can offer people. Ryan’s focus on being of service to people also means that they’re willing to reciprocate the favor.
One of the first things I did when I decided to pivot away from my business into full-time work was to catch up with friends and mention my pivot. It helped a lot. Two of my best job prospects came from referrals that I wouldn’t have anticipated. The momentum created a lot of energy for my job search, and I ended up signing up for a really great job at Figma.
I’ve heard pretty much every Ryan Leslie interview—and apprenticed with him early in my career—and this was a really good one.
P.S., There is a very subtle art to asking for help. Dr. Heidi Grant wrote a helpful book on this, entitled Reinforcements.
P.P.S., There is a difference between being open about your problems and creating a perception that you desperately need help.