Many years ago, I bought a gold Versace signet ring as a gift for myself. The search happened very passively, so it took a couple of years until I came across it during a layover at Rome Fiumicino airport. When I first bought it, I felt proud of myself. It represented achievement to me.

As I wore it more often, its meaning changed. Nobody who really knew me respected me more (or less) because I wore the ring. It felt too obnoxious for business meetings. An acquaintance once told my girlfriend that there was no way it was real. I kept the certificate of authenticity, I didn’t think I’d actually need it though!

When someone drives a fast, loud sports car, they feel proud because they’re the center of attention. They feel respected and important. They don’t realize that many of us know that they paid a lot of money to buy this thing to impress us, and that may be a reflection of their own insecurity. Was it possible for them to feel important without the sports car? I wondered if my big gold ring said the same thing about me.

I stopped wearing it for a variety of reasons, but mostly because I decided that I didn’t want to impress everyone anymore. I’d only wear it if I really wanted to wear it, if the occasion felt right, and if it matched the rest of what I was wearing.

Most importantly, I got a better sense of what I valued and what I didn’t care about. I didn’t want to play those kinds of games. No more big rings.