You’re going to make a lot of mistakes. If you didn’t learn how to make mistakes gracefully, here’s one way to do it:

Acknowledge the mistake. Apologize to someone if you’ve caused them pain or done something wrong. Make an effort to make things right and to lower the odds of it happening again, and then forgive yourself. Sometimes, the other person will not forgive you right away. They may thank you for apologizing, and still need some time to heal.

I wrote forgiving yourself last, because it’s important to make an effort to earn another person’s forgiveness. But if you find that your experience of shame, embarrassment, and fear are getting in the way, then maybe you need to forgive yourself first before you acknowledge the mistake.

This isn’t an excuse to gloss over the mistake or minimize it—but to accept full responsibility for it and to express your remorse for it.

If you’re not sure how to forgive yourself, this meditation can be a nice place to start.