There’s a TV trope called the Missing Steps Plan (it’s also an internet meme). Here’s an example from a South Park episode, which involves gnomes stealing underpants:
- Collect underpants
- ?
- Profit
We are all missing steps in our wishes and dreams. The question is to what degree. For example, someone who hasn’t cooked and wants to cook might have a plan that looks like this:
- Collect recipes
- ?
- Eat delicious home-cooked meal
Most people get stuck on step two, the question mark. Especially for more aspirational goals, such as:
- Research which camera to buy
- ?
- Publish first photography book
There are three problems if you want to actually turn step three from a dream into your reality. Here are solutions for each of these problems:
There are three problems, one for each step:
Problem 1: Preparation can turn into procrastination
Step one—often preparation-related—is comfortable. It can make you feel productive, safe, and in control. There is no shortage of planning and research you can do. It also often requires no risk. You could, in theory, spend a lifetime collecting recipes and never turn on a stove.
Solution 1: Spend less time on preparation.
Accept there will be many factors outside of your control, especially on your first try.
Problem 2: The question mark is a complete mystery
Step two—the question mark—is completely amorphous. You don’t know what you don’t know about step two. It could actually be ten steps, it could be a hundred. It also requires taking on risk of being wrong, hurting yourself, or putting time and money on the line. In practice, step two is multiple choice. You can do a variety of step two’s, and deciding which next step is best is often a challenge as well.
Solution 2: The best way to figure out what step two is, is to jump to step three in as small a way as possible.
For example, instead of trying to start a billion dollar company, start a business that earns you $1,000 a month. Shrinking the distance between step one and step three means step two will reveal itself to you.
The psychological term for this is unpacking, which means it, “provides additional details which reduces how readily it is interpreted.” When you start to fill in these details, you also make the outcome more likely, or you realize step two is not for you and you walk away from step three. In reality, you probably know step two already.
The problem is, the thought of doing it successfully makes your heart sing, the thought of a negative outcome makes your stomach churn. You need to be willing to risk it. Consider that this emotional experience is a part of the process.
Start today, where you are, with what you have. If you must, buy a cheap or used tool, and start with that.
Problem 3: You don’t want to give up the dream
Step three can become a fantasy. Because you don’t know what it takes to do step two yet, you can dream about step three all you like. This dream gets you through difficult times in the present moment. It gives you hope that things will get better. If you realize you don’t like, or can’t do, step two, then you must give up on the dream of step three.
Solution 3: Make the dream resilient by giving it some flexibility
Instead of making step three more concrete, understand the values you feel strongly about that express themselves in your dream.
If you want to cook, is it because you want to express independence, and you want to choose your own way of cooking your meals? Or is it because you value connection and contribution, and you want to provide for your family?
These are the types of questions you want to start answering. Once you have some understanding of this, you’ll know what motivates you, and you’ll also be able to find more opportunities to jump to step three.
Anyone who has gotten close to step three knows how difficult step two is. It bonds them together, as if they are members of a secret club.
That’s it! Spend less time on preparation (step one), confront the question mark (step two), and make your dream flexible (step three). Figuring out step two is not easy. It will be worth it.
This post by Adam Mastroianni is very relevant.