Category: Turning Stories
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Ask for help
Everybody needs help, at some point. (Entrepreneurs need the most help.) You will need help. Sometimes, the less you want to ask for help, the more you stand to benefit from it. People can’t help you if they don’t know you need help. Asking for help is your responsibility. Be open about your problems. People…
Herbert Lui
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The day you took your buttons back
There’s a phrase that describes when somebody else says something to cause a strong emotional reaction in you (usually irritating or annoying you): they are “pushing your buttons.” It’s not very useful, because it puts the other person in the driver’s seat. You’re passively letting your buttons get pushed. It’s useful because you can always…
Herbert Lui
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The circumstance and the experience
Life is short. Don’t spend too much of it waiting. There are two solutions: Find an alternative. Choose or create an option where you don’t need to wait. There is, apparently, a street across from Din Tai Fung in Taiwan that serves all of the people who don’t want to wait. Accept the circumstances and make…
Herbert Lui
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Three ways to understand winning
Winning is everything. If you execute on your values, ideals, and principles, winning will happen. Success isn’t about winning and losing, it’s about being your best self. Three different characters—say, Kobe Bryant, Bill Walsh, and Ted Lasso—would tell you different things about winning. You might learn something about yourself after you imagine them—or other characters—discussing…
Herbert Lui
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Contemplation vs. observation
Tension—which can also be described as strain, stress, and effort—is valued in our era. You and I have been conditioned to believe that these are leading indicators to success. One saying goes, “A for effort,” which acknowledges dedication even with an unsuccessful outcome. A twist on is, “E for effort.” (I take it to mean…
Herbert Lui
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The path with the best odds
You’re on a road trip. Your car is running low on fuel. You don’t think you’ll make it to your destination. The closest fuel station is out of the way. Close enough that you’ll definitely make it, far enough that an alternate path would be best. It’ll take an extra hour. You give yourself a…
Herbert Lui
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No
When you’re young, you say yes. “Accept everything, expect nothing,” the saying goes. As you refine your skills and gain experiences, new opportunities will come along. Saying yes won’t work anymore. You will need to start to say no. The first time you do it, it might feel scary, but there’ll be clearly a good…
Herbert Lui
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Defining Winning
What does Winning mean to you? This sounds like a simple question—get a higher score than the other person, the highest score in the world, etc.—until it’s not. What’s the highest score? Depends on the game. Well, then what’s the game? If the game is music, is it hip-hop or opera? If it’s hip-hop, who…
Herbert Lui
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Who is this belief useful for?
Beliefs guide the arcs of our lives, usually through stories. These can appear as simple phrases or statements. For example, “Life is a competition.” In this story, the belief might be that there is such an objective thing as winning or losing at life—otherwise it wouldn’t be a competition. Winning is good, and losing is…
Herbert Lui
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If stress was a dog
If you told a friend you didn’t feed your dog or walk it for a week, they would think you were a horrible person. You’d be seen as irresponsible and cruel. If you told a friend you felt very stressed at work for the past week—you haven’t cooked for yourself, you’ve worked into the evenings,…
Herbert Lui