A young man discusses his latest challenge with a philosopher. Whenever he sees another young person’s story of success in a newspaper, he feels a strong sense of envy and frustration. He feels inferior, like he’s less than the other person. He’s reminded of his social standing, his modest education, and even the pimples on his face.

The philosopher can relate to this. He asks what the young man’s first impression of him was, urging him not to hold back.

The young man says that the philosopher is smaller than he would have thought. The philosopher thanks the young man, and explains that he used to feel incredibly sensitive about his height. That was until another friend noticed that the philosopher had a gift for getting people to relax. He realized that if he was taller or bigger, other people might feel intimidated around him.

Moreover, he realized, his height was never the problem. His height did not make him inferior, or signal that he lacked something.

“The issue is really what sort of meaning I attribute to that height, what sort of value I give it,” he said to the young man. “Because if there hadn’t been anyone with whom to compare myself, I wouldn’t have had any occasion to think I was short. Right now, you too are suffering from various feelings of inferiority. But please understand that what you are feeling is not an objective inferiority but a subjective feeling of inferiority. Even with an issue like height, it’s all reduced to its subjectivity.”

The best thing about subjective interpretations is this: it allows you to make your own choice about whether something is an advantage or disadvantage. While it might take a bit of work, it’s entirely up to you how you would like to shape the story.

This story is from The Courage to Be Disliked. Nik and Rohan wrote some good posts about it as well.