When I was growing up, my parents and I went to dim sum every Sunday afternoon with my grandparents.
The first thing we did after we sat down was order a teapot of boiled water to wash our cutlery. We started by pouring boiled water in our cups, which we then poured over a pair of chopsticks and our soup spoons into our rice bowl.
Once all the water was in the rice bowl we would rinse the lips of our cup in it by rotating the cup in the bowl. We’d pour the boiled water out. Our cutlery would be wet, but clean.
This was a conventional ritual at dim sum. Many families did this. Perhaps it was even a regional or national tradition of sorts. Waiters were nonchalant about it. At some restaurants, the waiters even prepared a big empty bowl in the middle of the table to collect all of the boiled water from our bowls, which made their jobs easier.
This irked me as a child. I wanted to go to restaurants where we didn’t need to wash the cutlery. It felt gross to eat dishes from a kitchen that we didn’t trust to wash its dishes properly.
Three things I take away from that experience:
1. My grandparents grew up through the second World War, and in poverty before Hong Kong’s booming years. I can infer their way of dealing with the pain was not to talk about it. Another guess: they couldn’t afford to eat at restaurants where they trusted the staff to clean dishes thoroughly. My grandfather was sensitive about complaining. If a customer expressed dissatisfaction, the kitchen staff might spit in their food. It was more effective to just take care of it themselves. It was a simple fix and not worth the fuss. It seems like a Hong Kong convention to take on this attitude of self reliance. If you don’t want to eat from a dirty dish, you can wash it yourself.
2. I grew up in Canada, so I wanted to eat McDonald’s on the weekends. My parents occasionally compromised by buying me takeout to bring to dim sum. I felt like a champion walking my McNuggets down the restaurant aisle. Waiters looked on with disappointment, other kids looked on with envy. No need to wash my cutlery today, thanks. I’ll just eat it straight from the box. It took me decades to acquire a taste for dim sum, and longer to appreciate the importance of tradition. If a restaurant looks bad and has bad service, and still has loyal customers, the food must be something special. Whether the boiled water killed germs or not, maybe the peace of mind was worth it.
3. A tradition may have outgrown its original context. The dishes weren’t always dirty, and we still gave them a rinse. Perhaps one way to see this is we washed them to acknowledge and remember where we came from and the sacrifices made along the way. In that sense, it’s similar to how Thanksgiving is an occasion for gratitude even though we’re not farmers anymore. It is also a lesson in agency. Even if you can’t afford to eat at a clean restaurant, you can do something about dirty dishes.
On the day to day, I forget experiences like this even happened. Even though I grew up in Canada, the memories come rushing back to me when I’m in Hong Kong.