Category: Expectations
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Favors balance out
A few years ago, Ryan Holiday shared a lesson he learned from Tim Ferriss: When Tim’s blog was just starting to take off, I emailed him and asked him if he might include a link back to mine. I laid out this clear case as to why — the things I’d done for him in…
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“Happy-when” people
Shane Parrish writes in Clear Thinking: Running on the hedonic treadmill only turns us into what I call “happy-when” people—those who think they’ll be happy when something happens. For example, we’ll be happy when we get the credit we deserve, or happy when we make a bit more money, or happy when we find that…
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Stand up
Steve Jobs discusses hiring people, in an interview for In the Company of Giants (via the Steve Jobs archive): Over time, my digging in during an interview gets more precise. For example, many times in an interview I will purposely upset someone: I’ll criticize their prior work. I’ll do my homework, find out what they…
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Make a map of memories
Kai Brach writes in the 267th issue of Dense Discovery: When I receive a kind, heartfelt email from a reader, I add it to a folder titled ‘Confidence Boost’. So whenever self-doubt strikes or I’m in a creative rut I consult that folder to be reminded of what really matters: connection. A memory pays dividends…
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Dealing with failure
What do you do when you’re helming a blossoming ad agency and you lose an account that’s half your billings and three-quarters of your income? You keep advertising. Chiat/Day partner and co-founder Guy Day wrote this one. His son Cameron Day writes, “It was uncharacteristic of my father to revert to low-brow language. That was…
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Ambiguity, fear, and possibility
In Platonic, Marisa G. Franco PhD writes: Much of friendship is defined by ambiguity; it’s rare that people straight up tell us whether they like us or not. Thus, our projections end up playing a greater role in our understanding of how others feel about us than how others actually feel. Our attachment determines how…
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The alchemy of scarcity
A good chef can make a feast out of scarce ingredients. A good athlete can make a performance out of sparse energy and health. A good artist can make art out of scarce material and time. None of them would prefer to, of course. But they can if they must.
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Choose the action, choose the consequence
“When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. When you desire a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it.” Lois McMaster Bujold, Memory
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Sweet lemons
I recently took a week off work. The first day off, my nose started running. I got sick. The rest of the week involved me staying in my home, recovering. There are at least two competing truths here: One truth involves me being upset that I didn’t get to do much I wanted to. Another…
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Five life lessons from playing board games
You can learn a lot about life from playing board games. Here are five lessons I’ve picked up from the past few years: The point is to have fun, not to win. If you want to play competitively, then join a tournament—don’t do that with your friends. The point is to enjoy each other’s company.…