A friend of mine had moved from Toronto to Hong Kong for work. When he first arrived, he didn’t know anyone. He had a decision to make:

He could get really good at spending time by himself, including sitting at home in the evenings and watching TV. 

Or, he could get really good at socializing. This meant he would need to go to the bars and malls to meet new people, by himself at first, which felt slightly uncomfortable. 

When he told me this story, he nearly exclaimed that he refused to get good at spending time alone. The alternative was to be adventurous, so that’s what he did. I’m sure it meant some awkward moments, making a lot of small talk, and sometimes even dragging his own feet out of the door when he felt tired. 

It was clear to me that my friend felt proud to tell this story. He defied the idea that he would need to feel alone.

Be mindful of the things that you’re getting good at. Refuse to get good at certain things, especially if they leave you feeling dissatisfied or if that’s not the story that you want to tell.