Today, I visited a friend in palliative care. I was joined by three other friends, and the shared presence made the trip feel lighter. We talked to each other and his family in his hospital room.

Our friend’s eyes were closed, and he didn’t respond to our comments. He seemed to be sleeping. He looked very peaceful.

As our time drew to an end, we each took turns to say our final goodbyes. One friend shared an inside joke with him, and invoked Lost, “See you in another life, brother.” Out of habit and wishful thinking, I said, “See you soon,” and a few minutes later I corrected myself. “Goodbye!” 

On our way out, I noticed his eyes moving, as if he was trying to open them but his eyelids were too heavy. I like to imagine it was his way of saying goodbye as well, that he was somewhere between the Earth and wherever we go after.

It was a difficult experience, and I feel grateful for a chance to live it.